RWDevCon Inspiration Talk – Identity by Vicki Wenderlich

Use Your Words!

Once I realized this I started changing how I talked to myself.

I started purposely picking out the great things about what I was doing and describing what I did in a more positive way.

For example, you might notice that I call myself an:

I don’t know if I technically fit the description of an entrepreneur, but it makes me sound cool to myself and it’s a lot shorter than saying artist, accountant, book publisher, jack of all trades who does whatever is needed to keep the business running.

Once I started shifting my inner identity to being an entrepreneur, I got a lot more excited about my work.

• Before my inner identity was: I’m an artist, but right now I’m helping out my husband with his business.
• Now my identity is: I’m an entrepreneur and I can handle anything that comes my way.

See what a difference that makes?

Not Just “One Of The Twins”

Remember back to the beginning of this speech when I was talking about my frustration growing up as a twin? Looking back, that was another case of my inner identity not matching up with my outer identity.

I saw myself as a wonderful, unique, special snowflake and everybody else saw me as one of the twins. It was the discord between those two identities that caused me so much anguish.

As an adult, I don’t have that problem. Most of the world sees me as very different from my sister, even if they do confuse us still at parties sometimes, or conferences. Being a twin is only one small part of my identity rather than the entire thing.

Don’t worry. If you come up to me and think that I’m my sister, I’m not going to hate you. Just don’t hug me until we get to know each other better. :]

Now It’s Your Turn

My challenge to you today is to take stock of your own inner and outer identities.

When they match up, it’ll make you happy and confident and successful.

If they don’t match up it’s going to make you feel depressed and apathetic, which can hold you back both in your personal life and in your career.

Give this concept of identity the respect that it deserves. Take a look at yourself and see if something’s not right. If you do realize that you’re depressed and it’s because your inner identity and your outer identity are not in alignment, be brave enough to take the steps to bring them back together again.

Every so often, look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I being true to myself?”

If the answer is no, it’s time to make a change.